And The Winner is...................?

The Winner of the biggest legened Award goes to

With 56% of the Votes

Martin 25%

Simon 12%

Steve 6%

Appologies From Bungle

"Bungle here, unfortunately due to my association with our next opponents i will be unable to comment on the forthcoming match. I will be handing over to my good friend Zippy".

Important information about Zippy

Born 1972 Age: 36

What does he know about hockey? Nothing

Friends:

George (The gay one)

Bungle (The tall fat one)

Zippy has just come out of rehab where he was being treated for a serious crack addiction, those long hours on the set of rainbow really took it out of him.

After being sued by Sheikh Abdulla Bin Hamad Bin Isa Al-Khalifa, strapped for cash Michael Jackson is rumoured to be lining up Zippy to duet on his next album, however Zippy is denying the story saying he is committed to the Men's 2's for at least the next week but after that it is a possibility.

Newark Get Early Christmas Present

You could have easily made the mistake of thinking South Notts had Father Christmas at the heart of their defence as their Center back seemed intent on showering Newark with gifts. Gifts which Newark took full advantage of. A 3:1 Victory with a goal from Adam Reynolds and two from Nathan Wakeland. A result that was well deserved, due to a fantastic all round display.


And Alex you now owe £13 pounds in fines!

Good Showing at Sports Awards

Newark HC was well represented at the 2008 Newark and Sherwood Sports Review.

Congratulations go to Newark Hockey Club Otters and Beavers under-13 girls team who were crowned Junior Sports team of the year after there victory in the county championships.

The Senior Team of the year saw the mighty men's 2's come up against the ladies 2's and a bunch of fat men who like to play with there misshapen balls (Newark Rugby Club Men's 1st XV). Unfortunately the fat men won but fantastic to see 2 teams from Newark HC in contention.

Boy Wounder leads Goals list

After 6 Competitive Matches The Top Goal Scorers are:

1st

2nd Steve

3rd Martin, Matt H, Gregg, Hendrie, Sam, Nathan

MORE GOALS NEEDED !!!

Newark Silence Roaring Lions

Lets see how many Lion puns i can get into this.

Saturday 8th November saw the visit of Northampton Lions to the zoo that is the Magnus Sports Center. Northampton got off to a roaring start overwhelming there pray who started the match like wounded gazelle. This led to a 3:1 lead going into the break. With Craig away on his How to add up using a calculator course. The half time team talk was left to the far more inspirational Lowth the result saw Newark produce the Lion hearted spirit that they lacked in the first half and like Richard I on one of his crusade Newark clawed through the oppositions defence to bring the math back to 3:3, leaving Northampton licking their wounds.

The goals came from stand in captain Robbin Lowth, Sam Smith and Matt 'Bangkok chick boy' Hammond who was also named man of the match. "I hear Matt has dedicated his performance to the crack team of lawyers the club paid to get him released from a Thia prison that he had found himself incarcerated in after what can only be described as unknown misdemeanors while on holiday. All i know is it involved straws a bucket and a rather well endowed blond girl (or at least that's what he thought).

THE SEASON SO FAR

On my return to Newark i was shocked to see that our mighty captain Arran had morphed from a short "big boned" (That means fat) fella to a blond haired lanky Edwin Van Der Saar looking character. I was relieved to hear that the club had not wasted all its money on cosmetic surgery but Arran had in fact decided to pass the mantel on to Craig. Craig's reign started well and with the captains arm band came Craig's first goal for Newark in 6 years scoring the first of 7 goals in a annihilation of Coalvile. The remaining friendlies saw Newark keep up last seasons good form with wins against Belper and Loughborough Town and a draw against North Notts, despite one of the North Notts Players taking exception to our new captain and trying to decapitate his left leg.

The first competitive game was against Kettering in the cup. With 5 minuets to go it looked bleak for Newark trailing 1-0 until Gregg Wines cracked home the equaliser from the top of the D to force the game into golden goal extra time (He may be rubbish at getting umpires but he can play hockey). Extra time only lasted 2 minuets as the caped crusaders sidekick stepped up to strike home a short corner. This delighted Newark mainly because it saw the Kettering captain burst into a flood of tears (boo who, cry me a river).

After the excitement of the cup came the eagerly awaited first league match. Sally(Pivot)Davies gave an inspirational team talk(blah blah blah PIVOT blah blah blah PIVOT blah blah blah) and the game began at a fast pace. While batman was away Simon Sloan and teamed up to score a fantastic goal to open the scoring. Both teams played hard but unfortunately after Craig got a blow to the head and had to come off (Little Pansy). The game ended in a 2-2 draw.

The following weeks saw back to back victories against Kettering (No tears this time, shame) and Leicester Westleigh. The only blot on the season so far is a 4-0 defeat to Nuneaton and a close contests against West Bridgford in the cup second round (best not divulge the score on that one).

Well that's it for now more next week.

BUNGLE IS BACK

BUNGLE IS BACK

Im back! Firstly I would like to apologise for the lack of activity on the blog over these last few months I has been very busy running Barack Obama's Presidential campaign. Now that it is all over I can return to the far more important matter of reporting on the Mighty Men's 2nd's.